Forever Ghosts
by RuthlessBallard
Summary: Mark's thoughts on the loss and return of his love once stranded in the Delta Quadrant.


I have always been what most would consider to be a quiet man. You of all people should know. I never raised my voice when we would get in our tiffs. We are both so bull headed you and me. We cling so tightly to what we know in fear that if we let go, even just an inch, we would unravel completely. You with your principals and I with my intellect. I have always been and remained a quiet man.

Until you left.

When I was told that I had finally lost you to your beloved stars my voice was no longer soft. I screamed, Kathryn. I screamed at the sky that had swallowed you up whole. I was like a dog on a chain. I snarled and barked at what I could never chase. Even after my voice gave out the screaming never stopped. My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, of memories, of schemes and of prayers.

I fought.

Oh my Kathryn how I fought for you. I went up against so many councils in hopes to never stop the search for you. After all you had sacrificed for them I felt they should have never stopped looking for you. But they did. They looked at me with eyes full of pity and I looked back with disdain. I spent years staring up at the sky in hopes to see you coming back to me. I listened to every news channel in hopes to hear of a peep from Voyager. But I knew they were right. I knew you were gone. For years you haunted me. Your memory draped itself across every surface of what was to be our marital abode.

I would see you at the dresser picking out a sundress.

I would see you at the your vanity brushing your long locks of hair.

I would see you in the kitchen sipping a glass of wine.

I would see you in our bed gazing up at me with sleepy, sultry eyes.

You had become my curse and my companion. But as each year passed by and my heart lost its strength, I would see you less and less. Sure you would hang around the back porch with a coffee in hand when the November cool would come rolling in. Or you would appear in the garden around the time of your birthday. But you faded away to a mere whisper. I will and forever miss you my Kathryn. But after years of screaming a quiet man must close his mouth at some point. The noise is not of his nature. I found myself a wife who also used to scream at the stars and together we would find solace in another who is haunted by the past. Forgive me Kathryn, but I brought her to our bed and together we pretended to forget the whispers of our fallen loves.

She now wears a ring on her finger and states my last name after her first. My son soon will enter this world pink and scared around the same time you did many years ago.

Of course here we are and as unpredictable as you are, you reappeared. You came barreling into existence in a beaten, out of date ship. Your eyes ablaze with wonder but also in darker hue. You hold yourself so stiff and your crooked smirk no longer holds the potency it used to. You are forever beautiful, until your last breath, but I am aware that the trials you have faced have aged you. I must say you are the spitting image of my late almost father-in-law. When I first saw you on the news I laughed. Not at you my dear. You were never the object of my comedy. But the absurdity of the situation. How perfectly absurd to appear back from the inky black grave that has claimed so many from my life. How perfectly Kathryn to cheat death in the most outlandish way.

Last night, your mother appeared to my door with hope and worry in her eyes. She fears the loud man will return. I pull her small frame into my embrace. She knows in a way it is a bittersweet goodbye to a friendship we both valued deeply. For our dear Kathryn we must distance ourselves. I will not come to you to say hello or check on your health. I will not ask you to meet my wife and child. You should know I am not that cruel. I will not come to you. I will not breath a word to you. Not that I feel any ill will to you but because there is nothing else to say.

I hear your voice on the commlines in your countless interviews and speeches. I hear your name, once far too taboo for my friends and family to utter, now tumble freely from their lips. To believe my surprise when our eyes met across the courtyard as I made my way through campus. For a moment in time we froze. Your eyes were sapphires as the sunlight danced across your unshed tears. I lift my hand to bid you farewell. We both greeted one another from afar and for a pained moment I almost wished you were back in the abyss. But I know now that not much has changed despite your relocation in the galaxy. I am to you what you are to me.

Forever ghosts you and I. Forever we will be.

 **A little story I wrote in hopes to mend the writers block. I hope you enjoy. - RB**


End file.
